Wow, this is first?

Ok, so I started a blog. My girlfriend said it'd be a good idea, and I think it will be too. Do I need to start with a mission statement? Fuck yeah.

MISSION STATEMENT: MY MISSION IS TO BLOW YOUR SHIT OUT OF YOUR ASS, INTO THE TOILET, AND MAKE IT FLUSH ITSELF.

For those of you who don't speak in CAPS, that shit means it's INTENSE. Why do you think this is called "howtostartablog?"

Fact: I had to google it to figure it out. Don't judge me. Keep reading this shit, because I update REGULARLY. Since there is NOTHING on the internet. Pictures will follow.