Saturday, June 23, 2012

It's probably time for another post

Ok, haven't posted in awhile, I'm pretty bored at home, so I'll make a list of current observations:

1) I've been watching breaking bad again. It's interesting to me how, depending on a number of factors, one's opinion of characters can change drastically. For example, the first time I saw the first 3 seasons of breaking bad, I hated Jesse. I hated his corny dialogue, I didn't feel bad for him because of his shithead choices, and I just couldn't like him, no matter how badly the show wanted me to. But I watch it now, a little older, focusing during different points in the show, and I see him as a more complex character. Same thing with Walt; upon first viewing, Walt was my protagonist in the show. But when I watch it now, Walt is a bit more like an anti-hero; I am told to root for him, but I'm not really sure if I should. This show is kinda thought provoking.

2) Maybe I'm weird, but if I don't work for awhile, I find myself missing it. As soon as I am back, it's back to normal. For all that I complain about working (not my current job, just... ANY job, really), I get the feeling that I would die without it. Weird.

3) I got a random text from "god" the other night. Random texts are the best.

4) I miss social interaction with people outside of work, but I lack either the courage, or the motivation to be social. I feel like I walk along the razor's edge (Georgio Moroder) as far as generations go; I'm old enough to remember how to be social without technology, but I think I've become reliant. Sometimes I wish times were a bit more simplistic, and that there was no outlet for people like me. Then again, I wouldn't be typing this if that were true. How do people meet new people these days? The concept of new friends is so lost on me. I'm not complaining, I'm just confused about the whole thing. Oh well, perhaps I have enough old friends that I don't need to worry about the ones I haven't met yet...

5) This year has been a great year for movies. I feel a lot less let down recently, and my fears of a exceedingly bad hollywood future have been assuaged. Even the 21 Jump Street movie seemed to see itself for what it was, referencing its not-quite-accurate representation of the show, and the lightness of itself. Prometheus was fantastic, although a bit convoluted. First, the way that people (spoiler alert) become infected was too complex; I mean, in the movie, it happens, but the suspension of disbelief expected is a bit much. That said, I liked the movie quite a bit, though I thought it was a bit pretentious of Ridley Scott to come out swinging at audiences by assuring them that it WASN'T a prequel, it was just set in the same universe. If you've seen it, he is (to me) clearly appealing to fans of the Alien universe, and the movie's stinger makes it apparent. Lastly, I was thrilled with Marvel's Avengers, though I was a bit taken back by the path it chose. To do a sort of origin story for the Hollywood Avengers was interesting, and to (initially) ignore the infinity gauntlet seemed like box office suicide, but the stinger to it ALSO revealed one of my favorite characters in the marvel universe. I have high hopes for the sequel (which will most likely become a trilogy, or more).

So, that's what I have for right now. If you're reading this, thanks. Whoever you are, I'd be psyched to have some sort of discussion with you if you have a comment or suggestion about any of these topics. I think commenting is enabled, so, feel free!

Saturday, May 12, 2012

An open letter to super hero origins

Dear Cool Stuff,

My name is Chris. I'm 27, bored, and reaching out for something. For much of my life, I've read about individuals who were transformed through freak accidents, genetics, and purposeful experimentation. While most of these are cautionary tales ("with great power comes great responsibility," or the "we have to always do right" lesson), I wanted to take a moment to let the impossible know this: I'm waiting. Most superheroes are first reluctant citizens; the idea of helping others was imposed after they were granted powers, and those people lament it. I won't. Give me spider agility, or a healing factor, or the strength to lift mountains. The moral behind these tales is fine and good, but I don't care much for that: I just want superpowers.

I mentioned that many of these recipients are reluctant; I am not. I'm ready. I want to web sling. I long to battle villains. That's the type of thing I feel like I was bred for; not genetically, exactly, but at the very least I've been educated to do so. I know the types of situations heroes find themselves in, and the weaknesses of evil doers. I mean, I'm already ready already; let's do this.

Thursday, April 26, 2012

Mark Suciu

This is my favorite part, ever.


I started thinking in my class today: all of these stories are about all of these larger than life "supermen," but what about the rest of us? A lot of literature inspires us to be more than we actually are, while other literature tells us to "just be us." Is the middle ground being the best version of us? My curiosity was ignited with another thought: if I'm not good at anything, then am I being the best me? SHOULD I be good at something? I feel like a great portion of my life has been trying to find the activity I am best at, and in relation to others, there really isn't one. Don't get me wrong, because I'm not complaining, but it has lead me down a path of mediocre complacency. I romanticize too much for that to work. I love the star wars universe, and comic books, and generally anything with a greater than thou hero character. I love the supernatural, and I love mystery. But I don't experience those things. I will never throw Emperor Palpatine into a pit, I'll never web sling through New York City, and I'll never have to shoot 006 to save the world. My question is "is this a shame?" Should I strive for these things, or is it wrong to take pride in my jack-of-all-things attitude? I think, for the time being, I'll find contentment in the middle.

Thursday, April 19, 2012


I'm stealing a title idea from a youtube video I saw not long ago. I'll post it for you to see, even though it's more about game mechanics than plot.

Today, I watched a minute long reveal trailer for an upcoming God of War game, and (to me) it hinted at the possibility of ANOTHER prequel. Prequels get my blood boiling, and I'll tell you why: they accomplish very little while vacuuming money out of our pockets.

I am hard pressed to think of a single series of prequels that was a good idea. The first major one I could see was Star Wars. Do you remember how exciting that was? They were supposed to explain how Anakin Skywalker turned to the dark side and became the much more badass James Earl Jones in a breathing apparatus. I'd rather see a sequel, you know, like the books in the extended universe cover: one entailing Boba Fett's escape from the Sarlaac Pit, or the one about Jedi upstart Kyp Durron and the Sun Crusher. I was only a little disappointed when I heard those movies were going to be set before "A New Hope," but I thought, "Ok, this can be cool. Fans really DON'T know why Darth Vader is a huge dick, or the circumstances that led to him abandoning his children." I don't even have to go into it further: we all know how that turned out.

I think this is true, with few exceptions: prequels just aren't a good idea. A few examples include: the star wars prequels, dumb and dumberer: when harry met lloyd, x-men origins: wolverine, final fantasy 7: crisis core, Halo Wars, Perfect Dark Zero, and finally, Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom. Not all of these titles are necessarily BAD, but many of them didn't warrant a look into the past. For example, many of the people who were going to see the X-men movies had a bit of background; I don't think the X-men are this entity that is crammed down the average American's throat. Either you read a bit of the comics, watched the cartoon growing up, or a friend exposed you to it. So to go and desecrate a fantastic story about Wolverine's origin, well, that was a little underhanded. To ruin a character like Deadpool is near blasphemy. Now, there is little/no hope of Deadpool appearing in any other movies set in the X-men universe, because they squandered his appearance to make Hugh Jackman (who is wearing a leather jacket already) look cool.

But did the poor performance of this movie at the box office deter Marvel from releasing the sub par X-Men: First Class? Not even a little. Similarly, Final Fantasy 7: Crisis core was preceded by the lackluster "Advent Children" and Dirge of Cerebus; both titles tanked, but square-enix thought, "Fuck it; let's release some more trash," and proceeded to ruin my fond memories of a good series.

As with all things, a major motivator for this behavior is money. And I get it: everyone is driven by the almighty dollar. My answer to that, though, is another question: still, why prequels? A sequel to any of these things stands to generate more excitement, which leads to more sales. In so few series is there less room for a sequel then a prequel, and if there is, than, to me, that series has concluded. Rarely is there anything worth exploring at that point, when all is resolved. What is the point of exploring the PAST? Everyone understands the conclusion. Again, that brings me to the money issue: a sequel can generate more hype, create more sales (and therefore, more $$$) and further a story, with less chance of being redundant and pissing off fans of the series. I just think it's a better idea.

Tuesday, June 7, 2011

Why Bad Guys Should Win More Frequently

I've spent a great deal of time lately watching Netflix. If you're reading this now, I would safely assume that you know what netflix is, but in case you don't, I'll break it down: Netflix is a service that uses the internet to "stream" video into your tv. It draws from a vast collection of titles, mostly comprised of movies and television shows. This has allowed me to relive my younger days; they have "dumb and dumber," a multitude of marvel cartoons, and a shit ton of television shows that I like.

Seriously, netflix is pretty tight

This service has had me watching a lot of movies lately, and I've noticed a (pretty obvious) trend: all these movies end the same way. Movies almost always play out in a similar fashion; the characters are introduced, they encounter a problem, and through the miracle of science/religion/fucking magic, they solve that problem. Almost never is there a struggle to attain their goal. I mean, sure, it seems like one, but let's look at Transformers for a minute. Now, to you and I, it seems like there is plenty of "struggle" going on; there's an explosion every 43 seconds (thank you, Michael Bay). Now, for characters like Shia LaBeof and Megan Fox, these scenes create tension, and real danger. No one stops to think about the "main" characters in the movie, though: those being the transformers themselves. I realize I've digressed a little bit, but stay with me here: explosions mean approximately jack shit to giant sentient hunks of metal. So really, it's a lot like the transformers are sandbagging it (including the bad ones, as they could probably just fry the humans with a thought), and, to me, this fails to create tension.

When I look to the past for examples, I look immediately to the star wars trilogy. Take either of them; new and old, try to guess which movie is the most popular. If you picked "The Empire Strikes Back" or "Attack of the Clones," then you guessed correctly. Similarities include:
-both were middle movies in their respective trilogy
-both focus on darker themes (Luke using anger to fight his father, giving in to fear, anakin using his anger in battle, slipping into the dark side)
-both end on a somber note (empire strikes back ends with darth vader getting away, solo frozen in carbonite, and Luke Skywalker missing a hand, while Attack of the Clones has Count Dooku getting away, Yoda talking about the clone war, and Palpatine's rise to Emperor)

Pictured: entertainment.

NONE OF THIS SHIT LEADS TO ANY GOOD (Unless, of course, you consider "my entertainment" good, and I do), but it made for some awesome movie making. I think this is because these are considered "bag guys win" films. Other films of this nature include: Arlington Road, se7en, or Reservoir Dogs. I think that what caused these movies to be great was the varied ending; people just don't expect the hero to lose nowadays. But why?

In real life, the "hero" we like to refer to is us. In the story of our lives, we are the heroes. But we don't win in every situation; well, not MOST of us anyways. So it doesn't make a ton of sense that in every movie, the hero wins. I understand the escapism, but I don't understand why it dominates 99% of the industry. Hollywood has been reviving dead franchises and remaking dull, unoriginal movies for years now, when the solution is obvious: quit making every movie end the same way.

I wanted to do this post in an essay format, but I'm definitely getting too bored to continue tonight. Stay tuned for more.

Saturday, October 23, 2010

what a night

I'm pretty sure I'm not going to be doing this a lot longer.

Monday, October 18, 2010

Saturday, October 16, 2010

Listen motherfucker

I went down to flavor country tonight,and some doucher mnade me leave. FUCK HIM,I'LL PUNCH HIM IN THE NECK.

Tuesday, October 12, 2010


Alright, so I woke up this morning, and I had this dream last night. I know that alot of people dream, but a lot of people also drink coffee, or think that PBR is only for hipsters, so I get the feeling that my dream is special. See, I was chilling in this desert prison, and I had these 2 cell mates: I'll call one "Arthur" and the other "Cenand." And these dudes were cool. I don't even know why I was in this desert prison, but, it's me, so it's not a total surprise. Cenand was falsely accused of treason, and had applied to get his sentence reduced/revoked, and Arthur was just a crafty old indian dude (indian like, from the country, not native american; although they are VERY crafty).

Anyways, the 3 of us are just passing our time, generally hating life in desert prison. The guards were dicks, the food sucked, no escape, etc.; conditions were NOT FUCKING OPTIMAL. Arthur always talked about how he wanted to go back to fucking India, and Cenand showed me pictures of his family. We bro'ed down, HARD.

One day, that dickhead of a prison warden (who looked exactly like the guy from the 5th element) decided he was going to fuck with Cenand, so he provokes a fight in the yard. We fuckin triple teamed BASICALLY THE WHOLE PRISON, and I stomped out a bunch of dudes. Everything was lookin chill, until the warden started blaming my dude. It was looking pretty fuckin grim for a minute, but Cenand had this plan to escape, in case that warden ever decided to be a dick (and he did). So he starts escaping, and Arthur and I are all, "WTF? DO IT, KID!" We're pumped, for sure, but right as he is scaling a wall, the asshole prison warden fires this fucking pot shot that mortally wounds my dude. After what was probably the most heart wrenching monologue ever in a dream/movie/blog, Cenand fuckin crokes. He hands me this picture of his family before he dies and is all, "Make sure they know I was innocent." So that's what I set out to do.

Arthur and I were totally all "FUCK THIS PLACE" at this point, because it sucked. Our wingdude was gone, and we were OVER THAT SHIT. So we started trying to learn all we could about the wardens habits, and we hatched some kind of plan (which is fuzzy to me, but I'm guessing it was FUCKING GENIUS). My brain sort of just fast forwarded to Arthur, Warden douche, and myself on this helipad, a pallet of fucking bills, STACKED, and a running helicopter. Arthur was totally hurt, and I was OVER the warden douche. I think he was begging me not to do it, and I was like, "You lil bitch," and I straight SHORYUKEN'ed HIM INTO A RUNNING HELICOPTER BLADE.

It was a lot like this, only the red arrows were his meat.

Anyways, I get Arthur some medical attention, and we're basically running the prison; like, we got some good food up in that bitch, and we kicked the SHIT out of all those asshole guards. And it's been like a week since our dude died, and we're chilling on the roof, like, sunbathing or whatever, and I get this letter in the mail from "the desert gov't" addressed to "CENAND" and marked "SUPER IMPORTANT." Arthur and I opened it, and it was A FULL FUCKING PARDON. We got so bummed, and then I looked to the sky and yelled. No shit. I cried a lil bit (I ain't no bitch, Cenand was the fuckin MAN), and then I SWORE REVENGE ON THE STUPID FUCKING SYSTEM THAT DID THIS TO CENAND. And then I woke up. Pretty sure that's better than ANYTHING Hollywood is doing right now, so if someone reading this knows someone in hollywood?